He frowned a bit. On one hand he was glad to have helped put Remus in a good mood, but at the same time it upset him to learn that this wasn't always the case.
"He took me out to the moores where he showed me defense spells and how to build up on a protective barriers. And then we flew around for a bit. I had managed to turn his hair green and he got mine in Gryffindor colors." He made a face at the last bit.
That made Tonks chuckle. "Ah, so that's why his hair's green. I was wondering..." She was clearly amused about the whole thing.
"It's good to be able to defend yourself well. Sometimes Remus and I still go out and duel, just to keep each other sharp. If you managed to score on him, I'm impressed. He's very crafty."
Though Remus had been testing Draco more as a student instead of another wizard.
"Actually we kept it at a teacher student level. I still made a lot of mistakes last night," Draco admitted despite his pride wanting to not. But if he wanted to earn Tonks's trust he had to. "There is a lot I don't know to what I had been taught."
Tonks hesitated, clearly thinking about her next words, before she cautiously said, "I think that... given you were given the same education as the rest, it shows that there's a fundamental difference in how certain wizards are taught after Hogwarts."
A somewhat polite way of saying that dark wizards were taught differently than light.
It didn't help that he had been learning the dark arts since he was a child. His family had started teaching him right away and on holidays after he went to school. Draco had found it a struggle the night before trying to use light magic after making it a mistake by starting with dark. He secretly preferred the light magic over the dark. Especially with how it was taught.
"I know....thats why I had asked Remus for lessons. I want to leave all of that behind," he said in a soft voice, feeling ashamed of himself.
"He's mighty proud of you for it. I hope you keep that in mind." She took up a plate, dropping her stack of sadly shaped pancakes onto it. "...Hmm. Maybe next time I should try a waffle iron..."
She glanced up towards the ceiling, chewing on her lip. Just then though, Teddy started fussing and Tonks looked back to him. "Breakfast for you, too? Give him here, Draco. Maybe you could see to waking Remus up for breakfast?"
He gave a smalll smile, pleased to hear the compliment from her. With Teddy fussing he then handed him ovee to Tonks. There was a brief confusion on his face at the mention of a waffle iron.
Draco nodded and then headed upstairs and knocked on Remus's door. "Tonks has breakfast ready!"
He knocked in the door again and after waiting a few minutes, he hestitanly opened the door. He didn't step in but poked his head in. "Remus?" He called out, uncertain if he should step in further.
This wasn't like waking his father up. He knew what to expect and how to get him out of bed.
Remus was still tucked up in bed, but it didn't look like an easy sleep. His fingers were gripping hard to the sheets, his brow tightly furrowed. The hair was still green and a completely disaster around his head, but it looked like he was lost in a nightmare, given his expression and how the sheets were tangled around his legs.
Okay...nightmares were something that Draco didn't know how to handle. Especially with those who had pstd. His father often had them and he knew how to deal with that...but Remus? He bit his lip as he debated in seeking Tonka, whom he was trying to help of just taking the risk and waking him.
Warily, he decided to approach him. "Remus," he called out and hesitantily reached out to tap him on the shoulder. At the same time he braced himself unsure of what to expect.
As soon as Draco touched his shoulder, Remus' eyes snapped opened. His fingers went for the wand at his side table even as his other hand came up, grabbing the front of Draco's shirt. He showed his strength when he jerked Draco around, slamming him up against the wall with the tip of his wand coming to Draco's throat and pressing in.
His eyes didn't even seem clear for several more seconds, glaring hard at Draco's face without even seeing him.
Draco's eyes widened in surprise and pain as he was slammed into the wall with the wand at his throat. He felt the wind knocked out of him. He had half expected something like this would happen...Only Draco had thought he would have time to react. He was surprised with how fast and severe Remus reacted.
He tried to speak, but couldn't with the wand pressed against him. A whimper of fear and pain managed to escape as he tried to break free of Remus's grip.
It took several more seconds, probably felt like minutes for Draco, before suddenly his gaze cleared and he blinked, his expression falling. It went from a battle-hardened wizard to a man who looked utterly confused. Then realization kicked in and his eyes went wide, letting go quickly and stepping back, his wand falling from his fingers to hit the floor with a clatter that made him jump.
He actually started shaking slightly. "Draco," he whispered.
Once released from the iron grip, Draco slumped the floor visibly trembling. It took another few seconds before Draco was able to speak. "Tonks had sent me up to wake you for breakfast...You didn't answer so I decided to check. You were having a nightmare...and I thought I could wake you up but have time to react if necessary."
He spoke in a rough voice from being unable to speak earlier. He wasn't blaming Remus for any of it...he understood what happened. "My father gets nightmares like this too...which is why I thought I could handle this."
"I-" He didn't even have words. Remus ended up sitting down on the edge of the bed, staring down at the floor as he swallowed audibly. He ran a shaking hand over his face, eyes closing. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I.. I haven't gotten one in a very long time..."
"No need to apologize for this. I should have been more careful." Draco stood up and hesitantly went over to hug Remus. He didn't want Remus to blame himself or dwell on it. Draco had suffered far worse then this and the two were still learning to understand one another.
The hug was a surprise. It left him standing there for a few seconds before he brought up both arms and wrapped them around Draco, letting his eyes close and putting his head against the other's. He sighed slowly, unconsciously scenting Draco on his next breath in.
"I'm still sorry. ...I lived with the werewolves... too long. It's a lot of protecting yourself to keep what you got and with the fighting it just... ended up like that."
That sounded terrible. Always having to worry about your own safety and keeping the little had safe too. He couldn't imagine a life like that. "Now you have your family and a home. You don't have to worry about that now," Draco replied. It was naive of him, but he would never fully understand the hardship that Remus went through.
Remus' smile was anything but mirthful. "I know that here," he said as he tapped his temple, "but here?" He moved that same hand down to lay his palm over his heart. "...Some nights will always be like that. I made... I made enemies doing what I did, because I believed in what we, as wizards, were doing. Trying to keep the world safe from him, by keeping the werewolves out of his hands. But I had nothing on Greyback's influence."
"Greyback ruled with fear." Draco commented, shuddering slightly at his name."That's one of the hardest to persuade with." He pulled away from the hug to sit on the bed. "I remember that Greyback was furious when I failed my task. His wrath was almost more frightening then The Dark Lords. If my mother hadn't stepped in he would have taken me for sure. He hated my father and I said we were weak and a bunch if failures."
"That's just the thing." Remus looked up, looking to Draco and spreading his hands. "He didn't just rule with fear. Oh, some, of course he did, but others... he ruled with a certain messed up sort of logic as well. Most people don't understand how bad it is for werewolves. The ones I lived with... they were living in an abandoned bunch of buildings because they had no money. No one will hire someone who's registered as a werewolf. They're treated like they're all monsters, all the time, and werewolves like Greyback back it all that much worse for the rest."
He sighed slowly. "He told them that once the Dark Lord was in charge, that they wouldn't be in that condition anymore. That werewolves could live normal lives - the same thing the Dark Lord promised them. When you have nothing, the idea of hope... it becomes something to live and fight for. Greyback would have betrayed in the end, I think, but- well. That's that."
"More empty promises....It seemed that the Dark Lord was good at promising people what they hoped to hear in order to gain what He needed. And offering false hope can be very dangerous..." Draco commented.
"I don't think I can ever understand what it's like for the werewolves and how they lived...but I can understand the open hatred and being despised for what you are. What it must be like to be constantly watched over and waiting for you to do something wrong--just so they can act on their idea of justification." Draco softly admitted and looked away. "Even if you aren't the person people say you are...you eventually become that person because it's expected of you. Especially if you don't have someone to tell you don't have to be that person."
"Greyback... is..." Remus struggled for the word, but anger came to his face before he let out a breath. He couldn't hold onto that anger right now, not when his brain was still wired from that nightmare. "You're right, though, sadly. If people can pushing you, over and over, in a direction, no matter how much you fight it, you find yourself down that path."
He glanced up to Draco and gave a small smile. "Sometimes, though? Someone grabs you out of the path and onto a side path you didn't even know about." Clearly indicating what he'd been doing for Draco.
The comment caused Draco to give a small smile and place a hand on Remus's shoulder. "Come on we should go to breakfast before Tonks begins to wonder..." he said. "Although the pancakes look a little terrifying..."
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"He took me out to the moores where he showed me defense spells and how to build up on a protective barriers. And then we flew around for a bit. I had managed to turn his hair green and he got mine in Gryffindor colors." He made a face at the last bit.
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"It's good to be able to defend yourself well. Sometimes Remus and I still go out and duel, just to keep each other sharp. If you managed to score on him, I'm impressed. He's very crafty."
Though Remus had been testing Draco more as a student instead of another wizard.
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A somewhat polite way of saying that dark wizards were taught differently than light.
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"I know....thats why I had asked Remus for lessons. I want to leave all of that behind," he said in a soft voice, feeling ashamed of himself.
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She glanced up towards the ceiling, chewing on her lip. Just then though, Teddy started fussing and Tonks looked back to him. "Breakfast for you, too? Give him here, Draco. Maybe you could see to waking Remus up for breakfast?"
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Draco nodded and then headed upstairs and knocked on Remus's door. "Tonks has breakfast ready!"
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But Remus didn't stir at the knock, and there was no answer in return to Draco's call.
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This wasn't like waking his father up. He knew what to expect and how to get him out of bed.
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Warily, he decided to approach him. "Remus," he called out and hesitantily reached out to tap him on the shoulder. At the same time he braced himself unsure of what to expect.
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His eyes didn't even seem clear for several more seconds, glaring hard at Draco's face without even seeing him.
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He tried to speak, but couldn't with the wand pressed against him. A whimper of fear and pain managed to escape as he tried to break free of Remus's grip.
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He actually started shaking slightly. "Draco," he whispered.
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He spoke in a rough voice from being unable to speak earlier. He wasn't blaming Remus for any of it...he understood what happened. "My father gets nightmares like this too...which is why I thought I could handle this."
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"I'm still sorry. ...I lived with the werewolves... too long. It's a lot of protecting yourself to keep what you got and with the fighting it just... ended up like that."
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He sighed slowly. "He told them that once the Dark Lord was in charge, that they wouldn't be in that condition anymore. That werewolves could live normal lives - the same thing the Dark Lord promised them. When you have nothing, the idea of hope... it becomes something to live and fight for. Greyback would have betrayed in the end, I think, but- well. That's that."
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"I don't think I can ever understand what it's like for the werewolves and how they lived...but I can understand the open hatred and being despised for what you are. What it must be like to be constantly watched over and waiting for you to do something wrong--just so they can act on their idea of justification." Draco softly admitted and looked away. "Even if you aren't the person people say you are...you eventually become that person because it's expected of you. Especially if you don't have someone to tell you don't have to be that person."
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He glanced up to Draco and gave a small smile. "Sometimes, though? Someone grabs you out of the path and onto a side path you didn't even know about." Clearly indicating what he'd been doing for Draco.
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