Okay that was no small hint. Another cough, wiping an eye, as Remus peered at Draco before just going for it. "I told you we wouldn't judge, and I still won't, but... Draco, is this... Muggle of yours... More than a friend?" Okay a touch awkward.
.....Draco then realized he just accidentally outed himself. He didn't think it would come across that. He was thinking on friends and family terms. Harry always had his friends to protect...his friends weren't exactly friends. He pointedly looked at his feet and nodded his pale face a bright shade of red.
Oh dear. Remus slid a hand back through his hair, scratching at the grey at his temple. This just got massively more awkward didn't it? His statement before had only been combined with his previous statements to make him think that maybe... he hadn't thought he would be right! Oh bloody hell. His parents would flip their kids wouldn't they? He breathed out, then said quietly, "told you, no judgement. If he's your mate and that's what you want us to keep it at, regardless of the truth, then we'll treat him as your mate. But... if you need to talk to someone, I'm still here. To listen. Help."
"I just know that when my family finds out and they will... they'll disown me in a heart beat. If you were able to figure it out...my mother would be able to the minute she saw us together. And what bothers me the most is...that I followed them through the darkness and they won't be able to accept me for who I am."
Draco carefully replied still refusing to look at Remus. He knew that Remus would be more accepting, but it was still hard to openly admit it and discuss his fears.
"Mm." A quiet sound, thinking. After a few moments, Remus chose to suggest one thing. "Given your parents, Draco... It might actually be used against them. I think they might not be able to imagine you /with/ your friend and thus they will believe he is your friend through their sheer denial."
"I--I don't know." Draco said doubt clinging to his voice. He warily glanced up at Remus with uncertainty. "Maybe my father...but I can never hide anything from my mother...nor can my father hide anything from her."
"All we can do for now is keep it close to our vests. I won't tell them, swear on it. What does your friend say- Jake, was it?" A long pause about that. "...There are certain issues given that he's a Muggle we'll have to... devise. He isn't supposed to know about our world, but... it happens. My mom was a Muggle, after all."
"He wants to meet them...but he's aware that they are very hard parents and rather difficult to work with. But... he's been in a similar situation and understands the issue I have with my folks."
He gave a slow nod. Unsure if he should admit that Jake already knows. "You said most find out through marriage."
"I'm fairly certain that most find out before they chose to marry, but it becomes... difficult if they handle the news badly. I think the relationship has to be serious enough that you would risk your heart being broken if it doesn't go well, but not so far that it would be utter devastation." A sad smile. "The risk of falling in love."
"That would make more sense. I just don't see how a relationship can work that well if you're always having to cover something up." Draco pointed out. "It's been hard enough trying to explain what I can and can't."
"Just remember." Remus came closer, trying to get Draco to meet his eyes. "Muggle or not, male or female... Same thing. Remember there's a difference between love and lust. Puppy love and love aren't the same thing. It's only been a short time since you've met this lad. Get to really know him. Make sure he's worth... everything. Emotional and physical, right?"
He nodded and met Remus's gaze. Despite Remus's, well meaning...Draco had already broken a lot of what was said there.
It was hard to explain, but Jake was different. Everything about the relationship was so different then what he had with Pansy.
At first he thought that his interest in Jake was because he was so lonely, but the more he spent time with Jake he realized it wasn't so. He knew their relationship was moving pretty fast. He blamed some of it on the fact he would be leaving for school soon.
Remus thought Draco would say something in return, but when nothing came, he wondered if the boy had already done something he shouldn't or if the conversation was just too embarrassing. He wrestled with himself as he stepped back, making the puppet vanish with a flick of his wand as he thought. "...you're lucky, for all that your parents will undoubtedly have issues with the situation. It's still so much more accepted now a days than when I was your age. It was illegal for a long time."
"Even if it's more accepted...there are still many who feel it's wrong." Draco remorsefully pointed out. "My old group alongfound the topic to be horrible and ridiculed that as much as they had for those who weren't pureblood.
Did you know others who preferred the guys?" He hesitantly questioned curious since Remus had made it a point of how it had been illegal.
"That never stops being true. I think every generation had that time when they berate anyone different for any reason. The more they fear it, the more they mock it." Remus looked up at the sky, staring at the half-moon. He went silent for a time, still wrestling with his own emotions.
"Oh," he finally said when he decided, "yes, I did." He took a slow breath. "I knew a young man who loved another, but it wasn't returned. ...Not any easy life to live."
That brought a chuckle out of Remus. "It was a long time ago. Things have changed since then." He gave Draco a quick hug in return. "just keep in mind you're not alone. You've got some back up." He hoped that Draco was wrong and Lucius and Narcissa wouldn't disown their beloved son.
"You're not being ignored now. Not with us. It doesn't erase the past, but maybe it'll make the future a little better."
"Yes, I'm grateful to have this support now." Draco replied. And to know now that Remus had went through a similar situation as he had helped even more. "It's not as scary."
With Remus being so honest, Draco bit his lip as he fought over on what to decide. "About our earlier discussion concerning when to tell about our magic..." Draco looked away trying to hide his shame for not being honest and his embarrassment.
"Jake already accidentally found out." He softly replied.
Oh boy. Remus did, in fact, face palm slowly and rubbed his brow. He closed his eyes, knowing this was a whole knew problem, but his bigger issue was the fact Draco had basically lied to him by omission. "...had you planned on telling me at some point?"
The look of hurt showed. "Why didn't you tell me outright?"
"I was afraid you would get rid of his memories completely," Draco admitted realizing how selfish that was of him.
There was shame on his face when he saw the hurt look on Remus's face. This was the first lie he had told to Remus. It used to be lying never bothered him, but this time it did.
"I didn't know what to do. You had been so strict about the fact that they must not know...and then after this conversation..."
"...Draco..." Remus started, then gave a small sigh. This was turning out to be a very strange night, wasn't it? "I can understand where you're coming from. I do, really, before you think maybe I'm just saying that. I had to lie to my friends for a long time about what I am and I hated every second of it. I lied to a lot of people about it, but Sirius, James, and Peter?" Yes, even Peter back then. "I felt awful. But you know what happened? Because I lied to them, later on... they thought maybe I wasn't as trustworthy as I could be."
It had led to Sirius second guessing him. Peter had become the secret keeper instead. "But I'm also aware that this... this is a new area for you. Trusting anyone outside of your family." A small, if sad, smile at that statement. "So I'll forgive you for it. Let's just not do it again, okay? No matter how bad it is, how bad of a choice or mistake, you can tell me. I won't condemn you for it."
Draco frowned and looked at his feet still feeling horrible for it. His eyes did widen at the news about the switch of the secret keeper. Had it not gone to Peter, Draco was pretty sure things would have turned out a lot differently. Still the news made him feel more ashamed of his actions.
"I'm really sorry about this. I won't let it happen again." Draco replied in a soft tone. Even though it was softly spoken it was clear that he meant the apology. This had been a night of surprises in conversation for both sides.
Remus gave Draco's shoulder a quick squeeze. "Alright, let's focus on a few other surprises that can keep someone safe. There's a particularly good spell I know that will disorient both wizard and Muggle. And, more so, ways to deal with if you triumph over your opponent. You'll either have a... well, a body or a corpse."
He rubbed his chin. "I was there was an easier way to practice you against more than one opponent. Perhaps I should ask Tonks to join us in the future?"
With the quick gesture of support, Draco was able to relax more. He gave a curious glance up at Remus with what he was hinting at. He was pretty intrigued by the idea, let alone having Tonks involved at another point.
"It would be great to have her along," Draco replied. "What's this idea that you have in mind?"
"Two fold, really. One you'd be able to try protection on a real person - one I wouldn't be afraid would be unable to get out of an accidental situation and two... You could practice against both of us since you mentioned you were outnumbered. Ah, and three, Tonks is incredibly skilled at her job. She will have ideas I dont." He smiled at the idea; he was proud of his wife.
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Draco carefully replied still refusing to look at Remus. He knew that Remus would be more accepting, but it was still hard to openly admit it and discuss his fears.
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He gave a slow nod. Unsure if he should admit that Jake already knows. "You said most find out through marriage."
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It was hard to explain, but Jake was different. Everything about the relationship was so different then what he had with Pansy.
At first he thought that his interest in Jake was because he was so lonely, but the more he spent time with Jake he realized it wasn't so. He knew their relationship was moving pretty fast. He blamed some of it on the fact he would be leaving for school soon.
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Did you know others who preferred the guys?" He hesitantly questioned curious since Remus had made it a point of how it had been illegal.
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"Oh," he finally said when he decided, "yes, I did." He took a slow breath. "I knew a young man who loved another, but it wasn't returned. ...Not any easy life to live."
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"I know the feeling too. I was simply ignored and only noticed when there was someone to be blamed for." He admitted in a soft voice.
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"You're not being ignored now. Not with us. It doesn't erase the past, but maybe it'll make the future a little better."
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With Remus being so honest, Draco bit his lip as he fought over on what to decide. "About our earlier discussion concerning when to tell about our magic..." Draco looked away trying to hide his shame for not being honest and his embarrassment.
"Jake already accidentally found out." He softly replied.
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The look of hurt showed. "Why didn't you tell me outright?"
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There was shame on his face when he saw the hurt look on Remus's face. This was the first lie he had told to Remus. It used to be lying never bothered him, but this time it did.
"I didn't know what to do. You had been so strict about the fact that they must not know...and then after this conversation..."
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It had led to Sirius second guessing him. Peter had become the secret keeper instead. "But I'm also aware that this... this is a new area for you. Trusting anyone outside of your family." A small, if sad, smile at that statement. "So I'll forgive you for it. Let's just not do it again, okay? No matter how bad it is, how bad of a choice or mistake, you can tell me. I won't condemn you for it."
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"I'm really sorry about this. I won't let it happen again." Draco replied in a soft tone. Even though it was softly spoken it was clear that he meant the apology. This had been a night of surprises in conversation for both sides.
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He rubbed his chin. "I was there was an easier way to practice you against more than one opponent. Perhaps I should ask Tonks to join us in the future?"
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"It would be great to have her along," Draco replied. "What's this idea that you have in mind?"
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