thattimeofthemonth | Open RP Post

Jake caught that confusion, but he didn't see any disgust or anything to follow. Draco was utterly confusing! Sometimes he gave off signs of interest, other times not... Maybe he didn't know himself? Jake had known from pretty mych the time he hit puberty but it wasn't easy for everyone.

Sigh. Draco could easily break his heart and he knew it.

"Well..." He thought about it, puzzling on Draco's words. "Let's start simple. Fiction or non-fiction. What interests you more - reading about stuff that already exists or did exist, or stuff that isn't real?"

For Draco it was a combination of things. One of them being to admitting to himself that he was open to both genders. And the other being not used to having someone like Jake as a friend. Both were new experiences for him.

"I've never really looked at anything that wasn't real. So maybe something in that direction?" He said after a pause.

"See, now we've gotten rid of half the books in the world," Jake said jokingly. "Not so bad. Let's see... mysteries? Trying to solve murders or criminal plots. Historical fiction... those take place in a time in history and seem like they could be real but aren't. I... don't think you're a romance kind of guy. Love stories, there. Sci-fi which all takes place in the future. Pretty fun. Fantasy... Magic, swords, Knights, castles, that sort of thing. Anything keen?"

"Lets go with the magical route," Draco replied with an amused smile. He was curious to see what the Muggles came up with. This was also Jake's interest as well, at least part.

He really didn't care about mysteries and crime considering how much Harry and his group tried to dig out what he was doing or didn't do.

Jake gave a grin that was far more like his normal one. "You're just saying that because of me," he partially teased, partially serious. "Well it's a good way to get on my good side." He chuckled, hands behind his head and lacing his fingers there. "I think you'll like fantasy."

Which made him think back, a brow coming up. "By the way, the gorilla... he mentioned something Id never heard of before. Quidditch some upper class sport us poor folk aren't aware of?" His voice kept it light, just teasing instead of trying to insult Draco's place.

"Can't blame me for trying," he replied in a teasing tone. Only to become serious again at the question.

Stupid Goyle, ruining things. He did like the nickname though. "It's a sport, but beyond that I can't go into detail." As much as he wanted to discuss the sport he knew he couldn't.

Jake frowned, looking hard at Draco. That was the last thing he expected. He bit the edge of his lip, trying to find the right words. "What do you mean, you can't go into detail?"

This sounded deeply suspicious. Was it... some sort of criminal thing? Something illegal? It didn't settle well with him.

"It's not bad, but there's a lot I can't say. And it's not just with the sport. I hate not being able to explain it. Some of it falls to my past and the group you saw." Draco replied with a frown. "I can only ask for your patience and trust on this."

He gave a wary sigh. He felt bad not being to share his world with Jake. And he was someone who could keep the secret too.

Jake went quiet with that, walking while staring at the ground. He really wasn't sure what to say to that. He'd kept a lot of secrets from his friends about the things Draco told him so far, but this...

He stepped forward and turned, looking Draco in the eyes. "Is all of this serious, or are you messing with me? I... I trust you, but I need to know. If this is some big joke, some great lie, just laugh and let me out of it. I wouldn't have asked you out if I thought it was nothing, but its all just getting more and more confusing and more and more secrets."

Now he was beginning to understand why many wizards like the purebloods chose not to interact with Muggles. All these lies and secrets. He hated it so much. It was almost tempting to just end everything here and not deal with the pain. Yet, he felt Jake was worth befriending. He understood why Jake was upset and beginning to doubt this friendship. It hurt Draco alot and he didn't understand why. His eyes were filled with confusion as he tried to figure out what to do.

He went over to sit on an empty bench as he struggled over what to say. What was the right choice. He looked at Jake to try and understand him more. Still not saying anything but the struggle showed.

"...I know you're trying to change from whatever you were. I know you have issues with some wankers who are ready to hurt you. But... now you're telling me there's some sport like Fight Club you and those wankers know about but you can't tell me, and-" he reached up, a hand going through his hair.

"I just don't want to be made a fool of, Dragon. I want to be friends but I want to know its not just one giant lie."

"That's the last thing I want to do is make you look like a fool, Jake. You're the first person to ever openly accept me for who I am even after what you witnessed and what I've told. I can't help but wonder if I had met you long ago how things would have been then." Draco replied in a soft voice. He paused briefly as he tried to keep hold of his emotions knowing what he was going to say would be tough. There was sorrow in his eyes when he did finally start to speak. He was always forced to give up the good things in his life and he hated it.

"But there are things I can't explain and say no matter how much I want to tell you. And it's not because I'm trying to make you a fool, but it's because it protects people I care about. I can't even tell you about this sport because it reveals so much.

I don't want to let you go, but I feel the more you try to get to know me the more secrets I will have and can't tell you. And it won't be fair to you. Tonight just really showed me this, despite how much I had hoped it would work out."

Jake's expression softened, leaving him standing there and looking to Draco as he tried to read the other's expression. Trying to understand all of it. His voice had softened to match his expression, a hand partially reaching out towards Draco. "I do accept you for who you are, but... I'm left wondering if this really is who you are. I don't understand any of what's been going on, I'll admit that. This... I don't know. This life, this cult, this whatever you and your family are involved in... whatever's happened. I like you, even if I don't like the lies."

His hand came back up through his hair, gripping the strands tightly as he struggled with this whole thing. "No, it's not fair, but it's what I have to accept to accept you, then? Whatever this mess that's going on. I haven't told the others, you know. Nothing. Not a word. My sister kept my secret until I accidentally outed myself, and I'm not about to out yours, whichever way this goes."

"Because of the fact I can't explain, you only get a glimpse of who I am. I feel like all these secrets are suffocating me." Draco continued to explain in a careful, pained manner.

"You're the first person that I feel that I can be open to--what little I'm allowed to show.... Some how you managed to knock down all the barriers I had formed over the years in the few times we've met. That's not an easy thing to do. Those goons you saw never would have have seen any of this tonight. They think they know me, but they really don't."

"But why can't you tell me? Because I'm not well off? Not in your class? Is this some weird cult thing? Just... give me a reason that I shouldnt know. Something I can understand. If it's the mafia, a cult, whatever. I just need something I can work with and... I'll go from there. You're one of a kind, Draco. It's not exactly like I let everyone in this close. Friends are one thing but..."

To hell with it. Jake suddenly stepped in and unless Draco stopped him, he would take the other's chin and tilt it up, touching their lips together.

---The kiss caught Draco by surprise and it showed briefly in his expression--only he didn't stop Jake. He could feel his heart pounding as he closed his eyes and found himself kissing Jake in return. The feelings he was feeling now were nothing that he had felt when he was with Pansy. He wasn't sure what it was and put that on the back burner now to try and figure out later. This night was becoming more confusing for the minute for him.

Oh why had he done that? It felt so stupid, but when he hadn't been pushed away, his heart was pounding. He breathed out when he pulled back, faces still close. "I like you, Dragon, okay? I'm willing to try and figure this out. It's... You can chose what to do. If you don't want to keep going, tell me now. I'll walk away. If not... just asking you to work with me as much as you can. Give me a reason and then that's what I'll ascribe all this insanity to it. I'll try not to ask about it."

He opened his eyes when Jake pulled away. He didn't want Jake to walk away that was certain. But he knew he couldn't tell either. "I will do what I can to try and work with you, Jake." Draco breathed. There was a long pause as Draco tried to figure out the best way to explain it and finally settled on an answer. He wasn't sure how well Jake would buy it, but it was the best.

"The best way to connect this mess is it deals with the group of people I was with. There's larger community to it. The section I had revealed to you weren't good. Like any community there is good and bad. I say anything it may unintentionally hurt them."

"Maybe the better question is, do you want to deal with me, if I'm not a part of it? If you've got to keep it up? ...Its your choice but... I'm willing to keep trying." His smile had pain in it, maybe a touch of fear. "Maybe someday you'll trust me with it."

"Don't leave me," Draco replied with a slight quiver to his voice. His own hands shook from the emotion he was trying to hide. He chided himself for being this emotional and was glad they were alone. He hated feeling this vulnerable. But he knew that he couldn't loose Jake. He lost so much as it was.

That vocal quiver told him pretty much everything he needed to know. They were alone, no one was going to see them, so hell with it. He reached over and pulled Draco into a hug. Maybe they both needed it.

"...sounds like you need it. Just give me a shove if I'm getting too Handsy." Jake sighed, his eyes closing. "Not going to just run off and leave you because of a little insanity."

He held, Jake close grateful for the hug. His body trembled slightly and after another moment he managed to calm down to where his hands stopped shaking as well.

He didn't let go of the hug till a few moments later. Only when he felt more emotionally stable. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Welcome." Jake stepped back, looking a touch awkward but... Well. They would go about this their own way, then. "I hope you're still on for next weekend with us. No fair just abandoning it after all of this." Trying to make it less awkward, trying!

"Come on. Bookstore's just half a block up." He gave a little motion with his head, then stepped to lead the way.

"I'm still on for the camping," Draco replied, feeling a little awkward, but more comfortable with how things are. He gave a sheepish grin and followed Jake toward the bookstore.

"Good. We'll make it work. And... I know I said it, but I promise that I won't tell anything to anyone. They're my mates but I'm not an arse. No one's hurt and whatnot, they don't need to know. Our secret, then?" He grinned, something closer than normal.

He walked up to the door to the bookstore and held it open, looking pleased to be there.

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