thattimeofthemonth | Open RP Post

Lucius allowed Narcissa to lead him away from the table. Sleep sounded like the best idea for now. He was exhausted from today's excitement and his mind in a turmoil. A potion had already been made to allow him for an uninterrupted night's sleep.

Draco waited until they had left and suggested they go into the sitting room to have their conversation. "What did you wish to discuss with me?" He asked getting right to the topic.

Remus sat down, rubbing a hand over his face. Needed to shave at some point; starting to look more like a wolf than he should. Tonks always gently teased him about it, but she loved him no matter what state he was in. Draco might have noticed that his clothing was actually in a better state than when he was a teacher, given that Tonks refused to let him keep the shabby clothing he had unless there was a pointed reason for it.

"Draco..." He started, then stopped, and ended up letting out a hard sigh. "I'm going to ask you some possibly difficult questions, but they're things I need to know before I can suggest what I have in my head." With that, he leaned forward, hand gesturing slightly. "Why did you do what you chose to do, during that final battle at Hogwarts? ...You had every choice in your actions that day. What went through your head?"

Draco sat across from Remus and frowned. He hadn't expected to go into detail about the war...but it made sense. No one had ever asked him or really talked to him about it. In a way...Draco was relieved to finally discuss it. He got to share his story.

"I was so desperate... grasping at straws trying to save myself...my family. All of them were poor, pitiful attempts. I tried to go after Harry thinking that this would be my last chance to prove myself to Him. It was the only thing I could think of that might save my family.

And even after all of that...Harry still saved my life when many would have just left me there to die. The two people that had been my so called friends all my life turned on me. I still don't know why he did it. After all those years.

I thought maybe I would stay on Harry's side and fight there to make up for everything. Maybe that was where I should have been trying to prove to them instead of the Dark Lord.

And then I saw my parents standing behind Him calling out for me. Professor McGonagall tried to hold me back. I wanted them to come over to where we were. It's where we should have been."

Draco paused, finding himself choking up on the discussion. Everything coming back to him along with all the emotions that went with it. He tried to brush away the tears that were threatening to fall, embarrassed by the display of emotion.

"-- I was afraid. Afraid that if they did come over where I was that He would have killed them on the spot. Then I would have had no one.

I was so embarrassed for my parents. Watching them pleading calling out to me in front of everyone. All of their pride was gone. I couldn't refuse them any longer... I joined them. I wished that I had never shown my face...maybe things would have been different. But if I never showed my face I would have been deemed a coward then too...even though thats what they say I am now.

I could have done something...but they're right. I was a coward. Part of Professor Snape's death was because of me too. He lied for me and that's something I can never repay. Did you know that he was my god father? He was like a brother to my father. He was also the only one tried to support me during these times."

Silent tears slid down his face as he mentioned his god father's name. He looked away in shame as he tried to recollect himself.

Remus sat in silence after Draco finished, not just to let himself think over Draco's words, but to let the young man compose himself. Really, this almost felt over his head, like he should turn to someone with more experience than him, but maybe it was just because he understood what it was like to be outcasted, feeling alone and hated, that kept him there. Maybe it was because the fate of one young, relatively powerful wizard could hang in the balance of tonight. Bring his soul back away from the darkness his parents had shrouded him in.

Little things pointed out to him. Calling him 'Harry' instead of just 'Potter'. The tone of his voice, the tears in his eyes. He had no idea that Snape had been the boy's godfather, but it somehow also didn't surprise him. Snape had sacrificed himself for so little in return, and yet so few knew the truth of what the man had done. There was still work going on, trying to make sure that people knew the real man.

"Do you still feel that way? That you would put your parents above all else, if it came down to it in the future? From what you've said, they are the most important things in your life."

"They're all I have," Draco whispered after a while. He glanced up at Remus, unsure of what to expect. What those sacrifices meant. But if it meant that he could help them...he would do it.

"I think there's still good in them too. They're not all bad like people claim them to be. It's because of me. They're love for me kept them from going fully over. It's what made them different from the other Death Eaters and servants of Him. I want to do what I can to save them."

"It's something you might have to accept, that your parents hold- held, beliefs that are far from popular and they chose to flaunt those to many. Evil is one thing, but that is even more difficult for people to over come in their minds as much as their choice of sides."

He met Draco's eyes calmly. "What you do with that? Is how you will be handled. You're still young. Things can be changed with you that might never happen for your parents."

He's heard stories about what his parents have done in the past and what they did to support their beliefs. It was what led them to join the Dark Lord.

Unfortunately, Draco had to agree that it's also what caused the large rift between his parents and everyone else. He remembered how his father used to give Remus a hard time when he was a professor. After the pink hair incident it kept his father from pursuing the issue.

"You're wanting me to not follow my parents' beliefs?" Draco questioned more to gain a confirmation that he was correct.

"It isn't just what I want," Remus corrected just slightly, finding it difficult to find just the right words. "The question is, do you feel the same way they do? I don't know if you truly feel the same way they do in their prejudices or if you were parroting their words. Even more than ever, there is a huge amount of importance in the distinction."

He needed to know what kind of man Draco was.

There was a long pause before Draco finally answered. Most of the time he spent staring at his own hands trying to debate what it was he really believed in. He wasn't expecting this meeting to become so serious and touching on subjects people usually avoided with him.

"No...while I understand why my parents believed in what they did...I don't fully believe that such things hold to today's time... I've seen a lot over the last few years to realize that their beliefs are old fashioned and what got them into trouble today." Draco carefully said trying to find the right words to convey his feelings on the subject.

"Only...because of my parents I couldn't really say what I wanted to say. Knowing they wouldn't approve of it and that it would be used against them. Naturally, I just followed them because I was afraid of what would happen."

There it was again his fear over ruling what he wanted to do or say. It felt strange to voice these things now...after all these years and to someone that they caused so much grief too because of what he was. He didn't dare look up at Remus, unsure of what to expect.

"Hmm." Just a quiet sound of acknowledgement, and the silence returned. His eyes didn't leave Draco's face, trying to decide if he fully believed the young man's words. There hadn't been time to figure out something to say, hadn't been time to discuss it with his parents, or anything else that might have skewed the reply, but this was still a Malfoy and despite Draco's age, there had to be a grain of salt taken with his words.

His fingers tapped slowly together, but after a time, he finally chose his next question. "What do you want to do with your life? Honestly. If you could chose your path, regardless of your family name or your parents' wishes, what would Draco chose as his path?" It was an important question for him, though he wondered still if it was fair for him to be asking any of this instead of someone more... more... well, pretty much anyone more suited for the job.

The question caught Draco by surprise and he glanced up at his old professor. "I don't know..." he replied. His voice filled with uncertainty and confusion. "I never really thought about it. The last few years had been focused on trying to save my family...and now it's been watching over my father. Aside from...Professor Snape.... you're the only one who knows...saw what he can be like now a days."

He shook his head and his shoulders slumped.

"I've just been so focused on my family that I've never thought about anything else...or what I wanted. Why are you asking me all of these questions? No one's ever shown interest in me before. They just pin me as a Malfoy and leave it at that."

"Because, buntly, I think that you can be saved. I'm not sure that your parents will ever be forgiven,but you have a chance. I... I'm probably not the man who should be doing this, but I'm here and I think I can set that path. Start you on it, if you wanted. Bring you back with me and get you started doing something more with your life instead of being trapped here. I needed to know what kind of man you've become."

Remus spoke frankly, quietly, not looking away from Draco as he spoke.

Draco opened his mouth to speak, but shut it quickly. He wasn't really sure what to say still stunned by what his old professor had to say.

There was a good long while before Draco finally allowed himself to speak. He knew that this would be his one chance at it...and didn't want to mess this up.

"What can I do I have to do to prove myself then?" Draco softly questioned with a determined expression.

Wasn't that the main question? Lupin sighed quietly, then started on what he thought was the best route. "I think first off, we make sure that your name is truly cleared, and I have someone who I think will be fair and impartial in doing so and more importantly, people will listen to him about you. Even more so because I believe Potter will speak up for you as well."

He gave a small rolling gesture of his hand. "Secondly, I think you need to decide what you'd like to do. That way, I can help you figure out who you need to be talking to."

This was where he hesitated the most. There was a third, but really he should talk to Tonks about this first... "Thirdly, you will need to live somewhere else for a time, until you've been a bit more... settled. I fully believe, though, that once you are more established, that your parents will be able to do the same."

It seemed of late his life constantly rested on Harry Potter. He wasn't too sure how he thought about it. It seemed that their lives were forever going to cross each other. The thought of others that would listen to him and be impartial....Draco doubted that on a long shot but kept the comment to himself.

The last bit really held his attention with mixed emotions.....

"Live somewhere else?" Draco looked up hesitantly at the idea. He's only been either at home or at Hogwarts. The thought of living with someone else brought a lot of uncertainty. Nervously, he played with the family ring he wore. "But my parents... I don't think they would find that idea very appealing."

Here he felt very torn. He wanted to a chance to grow and improve himself and he knew that staying here wouldn't help. The thought of leaving his family behind concerned him. He had hardly left their side since the final battle.

"What would become of my parents if I were to leave?"

"I think... that your parents are going to want to give you the best possible chance for a good future for you, and right now, that isn't here." Perhaps it was a bit blunt, but that was something that needed to be put flat out on the table between them. "You need to be somewhere you can focus on you for the time being, somewhere that... disassociates yourself from your family. Which I know isn't easy, or maybe... well, even kind to say, but it's my suggestion."

He spread his hands a little in silent apology; he wasn't cut out for this, but he was giving it his all.

"As for your family?" How was he supposed to say any of this gently? He tried, though, he tried. "...Your father... needs help. Professional help, the kind St. Mungos' gives. Otherwise, I fear badly for you and your mother and even more so for himself."

He found himself nodding in agreement even though he didn't like to admit that Remus was correct on the whole situation. His voice shook a little when he spoke. "We want to take him there...but we're afraid of how he would be treated. We know most people don't like us and approve of what we've done and believed in. We know that many would believe that my father deserved everything he got."

He looked away from Remus briefly and ran a hand along his face as he tried to find the right words to say and to steady his own turmoil inside. When he spoke his voice was more steady and returned his gaze back to Remus.

"Yet..You're one of the first to initially go out of their way for us...even though we've never treated you well in the past. You even believe that there's still hope for me when everyone else just left me alone. Before you talked to me I didn't think I deserved anything of what you had to offer.

I don't know what I want for myself yet..but I do know that I want to do this..."

"Unfortunately, I think you might be right and given the increase in their long term residents after the Battle, all that much harder. However... I know someone I believe can help, and I think they would be willing to come help here instead of bringing him out there. It would help to solve the possible issues and give him real care. However, I hope your father and mother will take well to her - she's an American."

He bit the edge of his lip thoughtfully. "If she will even come out, but I can contact her by fire soon enough to know."

Then his head lifted to look hard at Draco, trying to read if the young man was playing off his sympathy or speaking truthfully. It seemed very different from the Malfoy that he had known as his student.

"....every young man and woman deserves their chance. Sometimes it may be their only chance down a path when the way is limited."

...."An American?" He gave him a curious look. "Well....if it means that father can stay here they might be more accepting of that."

Remus was right. This wasn't the Malfoy he knew as a student. Draco had changed a lot since then and even more so after the war. He was also more open with his thoughts and emotions then he had been. It was something that was hard for him to do, but he was trying.

"I was a spoiled brat and a bully growing up. When I was forced to walk that path...I realized fast what it was really like and it was something I knew I could never be or do...It really showed me a lot about myself and what I had been. None of it were things I'm proud of."

Inside, Remus had to wonder if that was true or not, but he also knew he had to give this young man a shot. So he knew he would have several people he needed to speak to, Tonks in particular as well as Melinda across the pond.

"If you believe that, then I think we can make this work. I am going to have to contact a few people and speak to your parents after, if I can borrow your fireplace?" He would apparate home to speak to Tonks, but he wasn't about to pop to the States without letting Melinda know he was coming!

Draco gave a nod and showed him where their fireplace was located. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," he said wanting to give his former teacher the privacy.

In the old days he probably would have hid near by to eavesdrop but not now. The two of them had to learn to trust each other and the man was going out of his way now to do so. Draco should return the respect as well.

"Thank you." Remus gave a quick nod of appreciation, then went to make his call. Melinda was none-too-happy to be woken up in the middle of the night, glaring at him sleepily through the fire, but when she saw who it was, she actually managed a smile. Their chat was brief, explaining quietly what she needed to know. He almost held his breath while she thought about it, then finally agreed to at least come meet her possible patient. The name meant nothing to her, actually, but his possible damage... that she would have to figure out if she could even help him.

When he was done, he cast a soft spell to make sure his call to her could not be followed before he went to find Draco. He had a bit of a tired smile on his face, but he explained. "I spoke to someone I thought could help, but Tonks will be less than pleased if I go waking Teddy up in the middle of the night, so I'm going to pop home. I'll be back before sunrise, though, so you might as well get some sleep."

"I'll be sure to be awake then to let you through the wards. Thank you for your help," Draco replied in a sincere voice. He gave a small smile and lead Remus to the door.

It wasn't until he saw Remus disappear did he go lock up the house for the night and try to get some sleep. It wasn't the best sleep he had in a while. The conversation they had brought up a lot of things he had managed to keep tucked away. As promised, Draco was outside waiting having already alerted his parents that Remus would be returning.

Edited 2015-10-06 23:59 (UTC)

You know what hadn't been fun at all? Convincing Tonks about all of this. Whispering fiercely as to not wake up their son, they had finally had to put a spell on the room when Tonks kept getting louder about the whole thing. Which had resulted in a lot more shouting as Remus tried to explain himself. They could both be fairly passionate people when they wanted to be. However, a deal had been struck between them, though Tonks still hadn't looked entirely convinced when Remus left, not having slept a wink.

So when he showed up back at the Malfoy's summer residence, he looked even more exhausted than his normal state. He did drag up a small smile for Draco, who was there as promised. "Morning," he said with a hint of irony, given the fact the sun was already coming up. "Do you want to know now, or can it wait until I've had at least two hours?"

"It can wait for two hours. Coffee or tea?" Draco suggested as he lead him inside. He could at least make them. He saw that the other didn't get any sleep at all and it didn't look as if the conversation went well. He felt a little guilty about this.

Although as they were stepping inside, it already sounded like Narcissa was awake and trying to prepare some breakfast. Judging by the way she looked it didn't seem like a good night for her as well. Draco wasn't sure if it was an argument or another lapse she had to deal with. He noted that his father hadn't made an appearance yet.

"Breakfast will be ready shortly," Narcissa greeted the two of them with out looking up from her preparations.

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GDI My mobile tag hadn't gone through ><

I had wondered what happened!

always give me a poke on Plurk if I haven't tagged in hours. XD

I will remember this!

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